Cinema Admits All

Fake Shemps To Aisle Nine (2003)

When There's No More Room In Hell, The Dead Will Go Shopping.
While out shopping for fresh meat, a decaying zombie falls in love with a living woman. His attempts to impress her by 'going veggie' die a death. Shemps is a comedy. With zombies. And romance. A Hor-Rom-Com.
Fake Shemps To Aisle Nine (2003)

So you're one of the undead. Walking the earth (well, it's more like lurching to be honest). And you've fallen in love. She's a prize; beautiful, charming, a gentle vegan. She isn't even slightly dead. She's also ignoring your every move, no matter how avidly you stalk her. But then, it could be worse- the flesh could be rotting from your brittle zombie bones. Oh wait, it is.

Okay, then, Flaky. What would you give up for this vision of loveliness? Surely not your taste for the sweet and delicious flesh of your fellow man?! All that pasta and Tofu won't go down well with your undead pals…

Shambling around the supermarket, following this distinctly ALIVE young girl, you ought to be ashamed. You've no chance. She's fresh- a breather- and strictly off-limits to the dead folk. You don't see the other zombies drooling at the site of her… well, not in that way.

You aren't fooling anyone- there's an old lady who looks on disapprovingly with every one of your organic purchases. I guess that could be the smell, though.

Bringing you the nauseating visuals of a flouro-lit supermarket and set to a rollicking soundtrack of muzak by Klaus Wunderlich, this Hor-Rom-Com will leave you bleeding in the aisles.

You'll laugh… you'll cry… you might get sick.


Paul Roberts
Paul Roberts
Sunday July 27th 2003 (UK)
  • Hor-Rom-Com
  • Horror
  • Romance
  • Comedy

Cast (in credits order)

    • Lee Fenwick
    • Lee Fenwick
    • The Zombie
    • Sara Stevenson
    • Sara Stevenson
    • Venus & The Old Crone

Additional Details

13 mins
Aspect Ratio:
Sound Mix:


    • Daniel Chapman
    • Producer
    • Editor
    • Foley Artist
    • Jon McDermott
    • Camera Operator
    • Paul Roberts
    • Sound Editor
    • Paul Roberts & Daniel Chapman
    • Wardrobe & Special Shemp Make-up


  • The term 'Fake Shemps' derives from Sam Raimi's 'Evil Dead' and via the 'Abbott and Costello' movies. For a detailed explanation, please read this wikipedia article.
  • The first appearance of the 'Spiderhouse Productions' moniker, this early incarnation spelled 'Spider House'.
  • To achieve the 'wrecked VHS' look, we initially passed the footage through a VHS generation. The results were deemed 'horrible.. but in a bad way'. Simply over-saturating the colours to an alarming degree was used instead.
  • No production lighting was used in the making this film.
  • Shot within a branch of Sainsbury's during closed hours. The entire film was filmed over two Sundays between 4am-8am and 4pm-7pm (less than 14 hours).
Spiderhouse Productions Ltd
Mike J Hadfield
Look and code by Volicol